Is a rubber lobster funnier than a rubber chicken?

May 30, 2006  •  2 Comments

 

CAPTAIN’S LOG

Time Index 2006.05.30

 

Day 10: Halifax

 

“Is a rubber lobster funnier than a rubber chicken?”

 

            After an overdose of profound introspection about life, the universe and everything, spent in and around Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island this past weekend, it came to me that what this road trip was calling out for was some levity – a mascot, perhaps. A rubber chicken came to mind first – rubber chickens are always funny, aren’t they? – why? – no one knows, they just are… But where to find a rubber chicken in Halifax, Nova Scotia at the spur of the moment? Generally, I’m good at attacking tasks not easily solved, but in this instance, I had neither the time nor the inclination to go rubber chicken shopping.  Fortunately, a compromise solution presented itself at the gift shop of the Maritime Museum of the Atlantic in the form of a rubber lobster. Surely an example of Canadian humour at its finest…          

 

            This acquisition simultaneously presented a possible explanation for the enigmatic signage I had seen while riding through the countryside. Here and there, the curious “lobster pound” sign would present itself, usually painted by hand on the side of some roadside shack. I couldn’t decide whether lobster was what they served and pounding was the etiquette for eating it, or whether it indicated a society for the adoption of stray lobsters to prevent them from being euthanized. The optimist in me is determined to believe the latter.

 

            A proper mascot needs a name, even when it’s a rubber lobster. Being naturally lazy and not wanting to waste the day on this task either, I jumped at the first name to come to mind – Halifax, after the locus of our serendipitous encounter, although I briefly weighed Prince Edward in honour of the heavy thoughts chasing me all weekend. But alas, I realized we hadn’t met on Prince Edward Island, and besides, “Halifax” had a certain ring of earned gravitas that royalty has had difficulty ever attaining, so Halifax it was. Of course twenty minutes later, the even more perfect name, “Eric” presented itself. That way, the lobster and I could have applied to the authorities of the Halifax Regional Municipality for a lobster license for my pet lobster, Eric, “Eric the Lobster”, with profound apologies to Monty Python.

 

            Chuckling glibly to myself, I ran this scenario through my head while scraping my motorcycle pegs in the curves of the scenic drive down the Nova Scotia coast.  The notion struck that this might actually be funny. I mean to people other than me. Given the quirky state of mind I was in, I thought to myself, “Self, who would know for sure whether this is funny?” “Why of course! TBS! TBS has the funny hotline.” So I stopped at a scenic overlook and called them on my cellphone. Of course, it took a moment to get someone on the line who “got” the question I was trying to ask and why I was calling TBS to ask it. But before too long, much to my satisfaction, I did finally get a “very funny”, the credibility of which was confirmed when I heard the guy at the other end of the line holding the phone to the side and repeating the story to a colleague, who started laughing her ass off as she heard it.

 

            The only lingering doubt about my “very funny” is whether it refers to a rubber lobster or the crank call itself. When I told them it wasn’t a crank call at all and I actually was at a scenic overlook in Nova Scotia, the TBS employee apologized for only having the Atlanta yellow pages available to look up a therapist for me. I smiled and told him that currently, the coastline of Nova Scotia was providing all the therapy I needed…

 

            So is a rubber lobster as funny as a rubber chicken?

 

            I guess I’ll leave that up to the vigilant agents of the Department of Homeland Security who tomorrow will meet Halifax the Lobster upon the arrival of the ferry in Bar Harbor, Maine from Yarmouth, Nova Scotia, and will doubtless be curious, nay suspicious, of the Customs Declaration boldly proclaiming the brazen unlicensed importation of shellfish.

 

            Stay tuned…

 


Comments

Nakliyat Yapanlar(non-registered)
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